Bittersweet

As I sit here late night on Dec. 26th 2015, I am filled with joy and sadness at the same time. The joy is easy to pinpoint. My family was together once again for Christmas this year. I cannot even begin to describe how much it fills my heart to have them all around me. My wife, two kids and my step-father are the constant light the brings me in to shore, if you will. My kids are getting older now ( 20 and 16 ), and Christmas day is still great, just different. I don't have to describe the joy one goes through when the kids are young. Getting ready for Santa, not being on the naughty list, sitting on Santa's lap for a picture and the general excitement of trying to get to bed in anticipation. Christmas mornings are even different. They used to try and drag our butts out of bed at 5:30 in the morning so they could see what Santa bought them to now us trying to wake the kids up. We had finally got them trained to make coffee for us in the morning just in time for them to be the ones that need to be woken up.  Once the "festivities" begin, the same smiles are there. They look a little older now but you can still see the little angel smiles you long to see yearly. They are now old enough to buy you presents and the joy you see in them when you open and love the present they have chosen for you is loved is a welcomed change.
       The sadness is not so easy to pinpoint. I will try to put it into words. For me, time is passing too fast. I can honestly say that I have enjoyed every second of married life with my best friend and raising two beautiful children with her. I miss all the "little moments" the kids go through growing up. I don't hesitate telling anyone that will fake listening, to enjoy every second. It's a damn cliche but it is so true. I know that those times are gone. They will not return. This brings me a burning sadness that I have to deal with internally ( until now ). The upside is, there are new experiences on the horizon. This is the only thought that keeps my head up. The one thing I can say for sure, I have learned to experience every second I get to spend with my family with a burning love. Sometimes they will catch me just staring at them. When I try to explain, only sloppy words of a sentimental old man come out. That's ok. If that's the worst thing my family sees in me, that's good. Until next time. Be blessed my friends.


"Savor the day"

Hello again

Once again, it's been a long time since I've posted here. As I type this I am tarting my 2015 vacation and preparing for our family Christmas. My son is coming home from university in a week or so. The transition over the past year and a half has been tough. We all miss him here at home. My daughter is growing up before our very eyes. It is beautiful and inspiring to see. As much as I want her to stay my little girl, I love seeing her become a confident young woman. I'll wrap it up for now. We'll talk soon.

"Savor the day"